2014 Eastern Mountain Pass - Day 8 - 200 miles TRIP END

This is the final blog, although tmr is technically the last day, we are only going to get up and get breakfast and go home. 

Here is us getting ready. The day before the day you go home always sucks. Not because the ride wasn't good, but because I'm running through my head the 5 million things that awaits me... Mow the lawn, apply for those classes, pick up the salvage ducati and send in for the check, shop for a new bike, hair cut, and a myriad of things awaiting me. 

Here we have a field of old machines for farming. Josh is showing off his package... Rofl. Yes we are 12. Then this turkey came to check out the bikes. We ended at the bridge overlooking the stream.

2nd day of BBQ, josh is our grill master. He had a better picture with the Cabasa he didn't want me to post. Lol

As I hang out with josh and rob, both over a decade my senior, each with different upbringing and life experience, there was a sense of simplicity hanging out with them. One could say the trip was "sublime". Lol 

Our neighbors kids came and wanted to ride our bikes, so I picked them up and put them on my bike. They had a blast, although the older sister was freaking out. Granted I picked up a random kid without the parents permission, and he was fiddling on my bike that could of broken things... Kids are masters at breaking things, ask me how I know. But will this boy remember getting on a big sports bike, or will he remember that he was told not to.

 Living in the litigious city environment one can easily get too caught up in all the little 'cya' precautions. What if the parents sue me because thier kid fall off my bike, what if they break my bike who do I sue, what if he cries and freak out, what if he cut himself. With that logic we can also ask, what if a meteor hits the bike blow up the kid while he was sitting on it. Or a massive earthquake shakes the bike and kills the kid when the bike landed on top of him... -_-

We have taken so much of what makes learning fun in our schools. As I remmeber talking to Shelly, when she regale me on her former days of building bird houses and engaging the kids in learning beyond the English textbook, I look at my students in thier classrooms today learning what we call "common core" or really a system to make all learning environment the same. While on paper it looks fantastic, but in reality it couldn't be less engaging. In fact, if you are a student, and walking into a classroom and all you see whether it's English, science, math, or WS, all you see is a goal for the day, and then you have a warm up, and then you do a activity, it becomes a routine.

Sure you can make it "fun" one day and show the entire staff, but seriously try doing that everyday and every week. Students are bored, not because the subject is boring, but if you do the same routine for everything, anyone will lose thier focus or concentration. Or worst, thier interest.

I always rememeber my favorite teachers, they were different. They were characters in the most fantastic of ways. Mr L sang a song in chemistry, and some other times he gets you started on the lab right away, sometimes he messes with you and then boom middle of the class he tells you what ur doing. By today's "observation" of meeting standard for teachers, they would have failed him on a regular basis, but he was more influential and powerful as an educator for so many kids than the others who simply follow the curriculum. He quit because of the politics. 

My art teacher drove me to a chessmaster and paid him to teach me, because he saw potential in me at the time. He broke about 500 school rules, but really that was one of the most amazing experience I ever had. I still keep In touch with him even to this day.

As I watch teachers leave one after another, hoping another berth is the answer, and some retiring all together. These are phenomenal educators. They all have character differing from one another. But we have devalued them and micromanaged them looking for numbers to attach to success of the students. 

As I took this trip with josh and rob, I felt very little stress. I felt fit in, without feeling like an outsider. They joke around at my jokes as much I joke about theirs. Despite the generation gap, I have already planned the next summer Europe trip and the summer after doing the tat with both of them. 

Did we do some silly things and make jokes on stupid things ? Yes. Are we 12? Yes. Because we all need to be reminded that maturity does not fall within the spectrum of following the rule, in fact, we need to constantly revisit our inner child, and forget all the fear, apprehension, our scars, political correctness, social acceptability, and just have fun. 

As I always tell my students "you live everyday, but you only die once, so make it count" 

2014 Eastern Mountain Pass - Day 7 - 200 miles

Gotten ready to go at sleep inn. I put the remainder of the half quart in my bike. I think I might try a thicker oil, when I get back. We are only doing 200 some miles today. We rode on the wv road, and the trucks were going like 65 in a 50 zone, pretty awesomely fast.

We follow robs trusty gps and went on 15 miles of gravel. This windy back road state park, that is alll gravel. Pretty neat

Another shot of the gravel road. I'll have to say, the gravel didn't bother me at all anymore. When the rear end starts sliding, It kind of just feels natural. 

We got to lodging, this place is pretty nice. We empty the bags and went and got food and grocery. 

Kill two bottles of red and had some BBQ. Just one more day of fun, and I gotta go home. I really don't like going home. 

2014 Eastern Mountain Pass - Day 6 - 200 miles

We knew it was gonna be a mega downpour today. After we gas up and got on our way, we headed to the back of the dragon. The same place I dumped my bike two years ago. This will be interesting... 

Didn't take much photos today. Took a photo of the road sign. They have this painted in quite a few places. We road it very slow, since it was raining rather hard on and off. We had all our gears on, so it wasn't that bad. 

We stopped at a Spanish food place. Had to strip down. 

We went down the side roads, but the road was closed, so we ended up going on this very tiny road, for 6 miles of half asphalt and gravel fun. We even ended at this place where we are under this gigantic bridge. Look at all the grafitti on the wall.

After thinking about the Ducati, I'm rather annoyed. I set up the Ducati in the last year with everything needed for over night and vacation. I learn all the service needed for the bike, and I dressed it up with mirrors, cans, and seat. I even order tires for this trip. Now I'll have to start all over. The duke is a bit small for me, but getting a new bike and figuring out which one, it's just another thing to do I didn't have on my agenda. I then have all these parts to unload. Sigh.... 

It was a fun day, we ate at apple be like three times the last two days... Or was it twice... I don't really remember. I'll try to write more reflection tmr. I'll gonna mull over this bike issue. 

2014 Eastern Mountain Pass - Day 5 - 200 miles

We left Fontana and road through to the smokey mountains. 

The smokey mountain was beautiful scenery. Steam was rising off the mountain at every corner. 

My ninjas... Because after I show them this vid from Leonard http://youtu.be/5Ns-kXeQCMk

I ran up the rock, and this girl was talking to her friend who struggles to get up the rock, "he just made it up so easily" as I ran pass them. 

We didn't go all the way to the sumit because we wanted to beat the rain coming.... Long behold we didn't beat the rain. 

After a long period of rain and traffic, we made some fun taking photos on the highway. Rob sleeping at the wheel. When we finally camp out we went and got food. Everyone threw on jeans and sneakers and went hooligan style. 

So I found out that my ducati is officially totaled. They are giving me decent amount of money for my bike. They even let me take off all my performance parts off. I schedule to do that next Tuesday. I'm pretty excited for a "do over". I called Phaedon and Jeff to see if either of them want the buy back on the bike. So we will see. 

2014 Eastern Mountain Pass - Day 4 - 200 miles

Today we started at the same time around 9:00 ish. 

I burned nearly a quart of oil over the last two days. That's pretty annoying, it is one of the niggling thing about this boxer motor that bother me even more than the stupid transmission spline failures. My ducati never burn a drop of oil in 4500 miles I put on it. Where the BMW needs half a quart every 500 miles. All boxer motors are the same, they eat oil. So it's not this specific design or model or brand, the opposable twin all eat oil. In a car that might be blah blah, you can carry a whole 10 gallon in the trunk if you are that paranoid, but lugging around a quart of oil, and what seemingly like I need another one, is utter ridiculous.

Our first stop was the water fall. Josh and rob been here, but I haven't so is was really neat for me. I washed my face and hair and cooled off my Daniese cooling shirt. We basically head out 28 and just wind up all the way through 28. It was some really nice roads. 

I got most of it on the go pro, which I promptly erased. Cause it kind of was boring fotos of the road. I got a few good ones. 

We had lunch at a standalone diner that was on the way to the dragon. We were talking about how this place is new, and Josh ask the waitress "how long has this been here?" "30 + years" was our answer. So basically it was here before I was born. ROFL. Pretty funny. 

 I got a catfish sandwich. The food was actually really good. Service was pretty.... Slow. 

We met a guy on a triumph tiger 800. He is apparently a photographer. When he was asking rob for some roads in West Virginia... He pulled out a note pad... Not like a nice note pad, of like a traveler, but like one of those note pad you see at a general store in the middle of no where, they don't accept credit card, and when you go up to the counter the cashier pulls out a tattered little booklet where he writes down what's he's sold in the store for a month. It's that type of note pad. Hahahaha

You meet the wierdest people. At the gas station, this guy came over from his truck and was mesmerized at the go pro josh had in front of his bike. He was like "WOW what is that! Is that like... " I don't remmeber what he said, but it definitely amazed him that this high tech thing exist... -_-' 

We came back and decided to run the dragon. We went to the overlook and turn around. Super tired. Rob just left us in the dust. I road the same pace I usually do, albeit I felt kind of off, I knew I shouldn't have eaten those chili cheese fries for lunch. Too late now. Anyways I made it alive. 

When we got back to the cabin, I finally got a call from the adjuster of the final verdict on my ducati. Except he called me at 4:45 when he is off at 5. So I'll have to call him tmr morning. To be honest, I always knew and felt the ducati makes me look like a monkey humping a football. The bike is too small. But I wanted a classic monster ever since the beginning of time. If they total it now I might be alright with it. I'm ready for another change. 

We take so many things for granted living in the city. Everyone has an iPad, iPhone etc, present company included. When we are at home, it becomes an inseperable part of us, as if we can not live without such life entertainment. It was something I never had growing up until college. Even then, it was just a phone, there was no internet plan or texting. But somehow it became a necessity. Sometimes I come out here in the mountains and while I still take photos and post them and write my blog at night, there are moments I remmeber how simple life was back then, no internet, no phones, no constant marketing. Sometimes I look around and just enjoy where I am because there are no service in the mountains. Sometimes, just soemtimes, when I forget to take photos and forgotten to check my text msg and email, for a moment however brief, I am reminded how simple life still is if I want it to be. 

2014 Eastern Mountain Pass - Day 3 - 241 miles

The gps mount failing is quite the bummer, I can only kind of draw the place. But eh, it's not terrible. We went the remainder of the blue ridge today. We started the same time around 9 am

Packed and ready to go, josh was air drying his socks, by putting in on the top of his bag while the wind blows on it while riding. 

Our first stop. In fact, we road passed it, and then turned around. This is the famous bridge overlooking the mountain side. It's the photo to the color of my novel.

I took the same shot three years ago, and.... It looks the same awesomeness. Everytime I hit the parkway it's always this impossibly beautiful weather. I was sure to remind rob and josh as they recounts how awesome this weather is compare to last year when I didn't go with them. I always say "this is awesome.... But this is all I know, so I guess it's just okay". They threaten to throw me off the side of the mountain so I can experience what "sucks" feels like. Rofl. 

We made plans to eat lunch on top of mount Mitchell. I didn't even know it's here off the Blue Ridge. Apparently it's really famous, and apparently it's the highest peak east of the Mississippi. The view was pretty awesome... Except there are these tiny small scarab like bugs that swarms you like a locus. It's like swarm of flying ticks. But luckily they didn't bike, just annoyed the hell out of us. 

End of blue ridge, there was like 10 tunnels. Let me tell you, I absolutely LOVE the tunnels. You go in these mountain tunnels, there is no electricity. So it's pitch black, and on the long ones, you are riding blind in the dark, cause your headlight is hitting straight but you are lean "way the fuck over" you don't know if you are gonna see light or hit a brick wall going 70 mph. It's just awesome. But... Unfortunately we went through like only two tunnels without traffic, with traffic, we crawled like 15 miles per hour through, really takes away the fun. 

Cars on the parkway crawl at speeds, you just want to take them all to driving school. The cautious ones drive the speed limit, the really scared ones almost comes to a stop at the turns, which is really dangerous. 

At the peak, it's all sports bike, they are all over the place. It was a hoot. We all rip the chicken strip on the rear to shreds. I got some epic shots on the go pro. Maybe I can load them up tmr night when I have some time. 

We made it to Fontana at awesome time. 5:30 pm. 

I really enjoying traveling with the guys, we stop where ever, whether it's your checklist or mine, it doesn't matter. I say I want to go, then it becomes everyone's checklist. Same goes for them. It's not, "oh let me do you this favor and go where you want to go", it's more like, if its goal, it can be mine too. 

It is now 9:30 here now, at Fontana lodge. I've been here so many times now, it almost seem like this is "my hotel". The view is spectacular. I get the final call tmr on my ducati. Maybe it's totaled maybe they'll fix it. Quite frankly... I don't really care that much. I have my eye set on a few new bike options. Vfr800 to be one, but I will have to say I have a major hard-on for the triumphs triple motor. Silky smooth, and 3 is my favorite number. After I road Josh's speed triple that one time... Damn you josh... Grrrrr. 

On the way here today, so we were talking about I don't know what, Rob says over the intercom "you make a good gay guy" -_- to which I naturally reply "what?" Then I got the similar spiel of "you care about how things look, you take care of urself, etc etc. then... Rob followed up with "you are only half gay"... Then josh followed up with "51%" to which I reply with a rhetorical question, knowing what's to come ... "Faaaaak this is gonna be going on the whole trip is it" they respond in unison "yes". Fml. 

2014 Eastern Mountain Pass - Day 2 - 385 miles

We left lake Anna at roughly 9 o'clock. Our first stop was brunch at Charlottesville. Unbeknownst to me  and to Josh's regular reminder that we were right next to UVA. The more I travel with Josh, the more he reminds me of what Phaedon would be in 20 years. rofl. Very similar personalities. 

Riding the same bike is interesting, it feels so natural, I'm not worrying about anything...well other than my transmission blowing up on me again. Lol. But I was able to enjoy so much of the world on the blue ridge than I had before. 

I can honestly tell you, I didn't understand the appeal before I started riding. I was happy living in my world, sheltered and protected by the confines of city life. My attempts to "go hiking" or "back packing" is nothing more than glorified temporary entertainment from imminent death by boredom. More often than not I am asked "so you guys just ride around?" , well yea... But it is so much more than that.

Riding frees you from what we call for a lack of better term, "total fucken bullshit", the petty power struggle, the rat race, the bleeding out of your pore insecurities, and above all away from the people who perpetuate such environment. I travel with some old people, min 10 years my senior and some 20. But on the road there isn't a difference in age, color, or wealth, it's just about the freedom. Everything is what ever, and you make a few landmark stop and you keep going. You go where you want, and never a sense of possibly offending your traveling companion. 

As Rob put it "I love these trips, it allows me to bring back my inner 12 year old", to which I reply naturally, "uh.... I'm just being my self". If my students were here they would without a doubt in unison agree, I am possibly the most immature counselor ever, but I engage my students far beyond just being politically correct. 

My gps mount died, in the morning since it rained overnight and I didn't wire the power to the base on key ignition, so it was always on, and it shorted out. We all mounted our go pro and got a lot of good shots, but no one brought a laptop so the photo will have to be posted later when we have access

Approx 350 miles today, ending in Boone, NC. 100% Blue Ridge Parkway.  

We went to this restaurant in Boone... I was the only Asian person there. I was a little nervous. Call it paranoia or self preservation, it's weird when there is only white people and you. It's just weird. Lol 

2014 Eastern Mountain Pass - day 1 - 120 miles

No service so this is the first day route, I'll make a map when I have internet connection

Rough route - we took the back road, but since my gps mount doesn't work I can't do the actual track. 

4705 Edgewood road college park md 

4372 Decatur dr Woodbridge va

Cardinal dr - miniville rd - 234 west - (l) Bristow rd - (l) Aden road - (l) fleet wood dr. - (r) court house - (l) elkrun rd - court me else corner road - (r) summer duck - (l) Kelleys fort road  (l) stonesmill - (l) Edward shop road - (l) eleys fort road - (r) yellow bottom road - (l) route 3 - (r) flat run rd (r) rt20 (l) gold dale rd (r) old plank road (l) Dulin lane - catharpjn road (r) lawyers rd (r) Belmont rd - Stubbs bridge road 522 (l) 208 -(r) Kentucky springs road.

Total 130 miles

Three years ago when I left for tails of the dragon for the first time with Yermo I was .... Different. I always remember the anxiety I felt, with nothing but my motorcycle under me, going as far as i couldn't have imagined. For the first 200 miles into the trip, I felt like I need to turn around, and while I never looked back, or turn around, I always left myself emotionally trailing and dragging 30 min behind me. 

I had very minor anxiety last year before leaving for cross country, and by the time I was half way across, I almost dreaded the time I had to turn around and go home. By the time I hit Seattle I really didn't want to go back the other way. A stark contrast to the year before

I had the ducati all prepped and ready to go, I was even going to wear the helmet the kids drew for me, 

But alas it wasn't meant to be. Some lady ran over my bike in front of Starbucks in Kentlands 2 days before the trip... 

I got a call yesterday from the adjuster to the tune of 7300 dollars in dmg. The bike is totaled. So I prepped the BMW to go instead. 

If you have met me 3 years ago, I probably be so down, with mix emotions of resentment and a myriad of other issues. Today, I was just annoyed. Annoyed that I had it prepped to go and now I can't. But oddly, I didn't care that much, I guess it wasn't meant to be. 

Got ready to go, it was kind of wierd, taking the BMW cross country last year, seem anxious, when I packed it to go today... I can't say I was worried. In fact, it almost feel too natural. I wasn't anxious, and when I got on the road, it just felt natural. 

We gather at Josh's house, before heading down to his lake house. This was the gas station by his house as we has up and head underway. I read with these guys quite a few times. Josh and rob are all in thier mid and late 40s. I tend to always hang out with older people. I don't know why, people my age all want to go clubbing and blow money on going to the bar. I am not against it, nor do I look down on it, I just find it really boring. Now if tell me, I can see natures perfection that is yet untouched by corportization, I'm packed and ready to go. 

Our first day was not really a first day, it's more like a fraternizing day. We were gonna head to Josh's and hang out. There is a resturant josh suggested. It was sushi,and if you know me and fish, you know I didn't object. During lunch, I text Katie, cause I remmeber her and Michael has a place in lake Anna, and I told them I hit them up when I'm down there.... Turns out they live... Like 2 min away... Walking distance. Lol we visited thier new kitchen construction, and josh invited them over for dinner.

We had a good time. We had 4 bottle of wine. At the end... No one wanted to be on my team, cause I sucked so bad. It became a joke that when someone missed badly they would say "you Yun it " lol. Was never gonna be a pool player anyways. 

At 9. We call it a day. Cleaned up, and passed out. 

Closing time

When I meet people and tell them I'm a middle school counselor, they always give me the response "omg, you are braver than I am" or the more dramatic "you couldn't pay me enough to do that". But more often than not, they are spoken in jest, with often a follow up question that peaked thier own curiosity. "What is it like working with all these teenagers", and after three years and three summers vacations, I can tell you still today, it's not about the money. 

Middle school counseling is seldom about "therapy", in fact, even situations that merits counseling are often a blend of parenting that teachs life lessons that is so much more important than knowing the history of the Incas or the science behind e=mc(sq). 

Every grade and every year, there are students who always gravitate to developing some kind of relationship with me. My first year with my eighth graders, there was the group I taught chess, there was the group of boys, there was the group of girls. There was ALWAYS a group of girls. They are not always the same group, sometimes they are the slackers and other times they are the top of thier class. 

This is my third year, but in many ways there were lots of firsts. The most notable is that this was the first time I had the same students for the first time for two years in a row (my first year were eighth graders and then we rotate back to 6 and follow the new students). While they are more or less unaware, I am privy to be able to watch some mature and some others whom stil unable to leave thier childhood limelight behind. 

Most of the behaviors revolves around trying to be the center of attention. While this is a normal aspect of adolescent teenager behavior, it is also normal for such things to fade with time. 

I will not deny that when I was a teenager, I had the same tendencies. Trying to capture the attention of adults and peers alike. We were obnoxious, and we were jerks for the same reason the kids were today. Whether the goal was to be the queen bee, or the main jock. Girls often display passive aggressive behavior to each other, while the boys test thier manhood against one another. 

When we were caught misbehaving, back in the days, we fessed up, we admitted our faults and took our punishment as is. Our parent taught us to serve our crimes and our punishment with diligence, while they practice unwavering resolve to see that we suffer in kind for our cruelty to others, or in most cases stupidity. If I got in a teacher face, and they grab me and shove me out of the classroom, it was okay, in fact I knew I deserved it. If I was annoying and the teacher told me to shut up, I understood that I needed to shut up. 

We tested our manhood like all young men of the times past, we dare not tell out parents of our disrespect or our disobedience to educators. For we know, what is right and while we walk the line of cavalier arrogance, we knew we were kids trying to be more like the adults. As I talk to my kids, and watch them grow, I see some of my boys who grown up as I did while being mischievous. I may lecture them at time of thier poor judgement, but I can respect them for having honor, a spine, and personal pride. 

Then there are the boys, who behave with a 'holy er than now attitude". Who know they are rude and callous in thier behavior, yet the second you tell them sternly to shut thier mouth or even look at them in a way to communicate ur displeasure, they run home to thier parents and spin a story.

It's as if though, not only is it acceptable to be cowardice, it's also acceptable to be a poor sport. When ur rude, it's okay, but when others are rude to you, then "noooo" it's not okay. It's like these boys are competing to determine not, who's the man, but rather who's the biggest snitch and the biggest coward. This phenomenon, not only is it bizarre to me, it is creating criminals minds out of kids who other wise would have learn the valuable lesson to have respect for others, and personal humility.

In the same respect, many of my girls grew out of the mean girls phase. I saw so many mean girls the first year. Trying to form cliques, being mean to others, and trying to be the "queen". This competition is usually won by those who are the sassiest of the group, or the one who abuses their feminine charm. As they grow, some of them learn to have fun without needing to put others down. The ones who still need to be the center of attention grew more and more sassy, and say defaming things to thier friends while putting up a front to teachers while acting angelic. I hope they grow out of it, for thier sake.

Even the most obnoxious of boys and attitude entitled princes grow up right in front of my eyes. It would be the same boys in the same "interrogation room", every single time, and then half way throughout the year I realize one of them is missing, or I haven't talk to them in a while and I observe them some more, and notice that they have out grown thier peer's immaturity. I am always so proud of them. 

Academic is not nearly as important as one would think, we are at a technology age that shifts the market in such frequency that even the skill required for our jobs we do can become obsolete overnight. 

The only thing that is true is the relationships we build. Every teacher has thier favorites in the classroom, as a counselor my favorites are always the ones who make an effort building the relationships with me. Be it failing students or top of thier class, I do not discriminate. Okay... Maybe I do, if you are just there to annoy me, I probably won't like you very much. 

All joking aside, those are life lessons I try to teach the students. How to build positive relationships, how to be a good sport and joke around. How to not judge others critically and be able to communicate to those when you may feel hurt or bothered by something that is sensitive to you. 

It's not secret I give out free Starbucks when I get a free drink. The game is simple, you follow me on Instagram, and when I post it, you have to be the first one to like it. Then when I ask you, you have a window to respond on what you want. If you do that you win a free drink Friday morning. It's a free game to all. I'm happy to say, that while some of the students follow me just to get drinks, all the winners were people that made an attempt to build a relationship with me. That's the goal, I'm not just giving out free drinks, or getting likes. I started my account to engage students, it's about building relationships and having fun. 

The one who don't win, some are very poor sports, whining and complaining. Then there are those who outright said I have favorites when they don't even follow me or talk to me. To that, I say, my favorites are those who have favorited me. I simply reply in kind. 

For example, if you give me your yogurt at lunch knowing I like it, I'm likely gonna favorite you more than someone else who never talks to me. Fairness, is about reciprocation, if you are kind, and the other person is kind back, I say it's pretty fair. If I treat you the same way no matter how kind you are to me, then what is the incentive for you to be nice to me, or better yet, what is the incentive for you to build relationships with me? 

If you act sassy and have an attitude or simply run faster than ur peers in the mile run, it doent really matter to me. Elementary and middle and even high school is such funny places. People who run 5 minute miles in thier middle school, think they rule the world, while Olympic runners of the same age are running under 4. You are good, but someone else is much better. What makes you awesome? Is that you can run a 5 min mile and you are humble, then you are a super star. 

You might be thinking... Yun... Why do you have photos of only certain people... As I often say "well captain obvious, it's because these are the favorites who favorited me. And I know they wouldn't mind thier photos posted, they are the ones around me when I'm taking photos." Like duh... Hahaha

Zachs parents Invited me to his barmitzvah, I was pretty honored. I got to see many of my boys outside of school, all dressed up. I got to talk to some of the parents of kids who I've never had to worry about, it was pretty cool. The food was great the drinks were better.

I went to tons of events. Literally tons, I love being there for my students, when they have competition or events. I always felt it is more important than anything I can do in the office. Telling them I care is about as much bs as telling them I'm there for them when I'm never around. I go, because I really give a damn about my students. It's not about the money, it's not about the time, it is and always been about being relationships. 

Hersey park, in line for great bear? Roller coaster seem so anticlimactic when you have to wait in line 45 min for 2 min of rush... Also when you are as much of a hooligan as me, it's actually really slow feeling. 

Band free Buffett, mr proskow does so much for the school. It's absolutely insane how much he gives up his life for these kids. I don't think these kids know, every fun event they ever went to, be it field trip, after school party or dance, that none of them is possible without the teachers doing them... For free. There are weeks at a time as we wind down the school year that teachers stay till 7 or 8 every day. Given we start at 7 in the morning, that's 12 hrs of work. That's not mentioning how much people pay out of pocket just to run some of these events, when money isn't there. The people that makes things happen in the building are the teachers you see in the classrooms. I just help out where I can. 

It was nice they came and mingle when I showed up.... Kaitlyn mom came up and told me afterwards "thanks for babysitting", she was like real serious and was genuinely thanking me. Rofl. If you built a good relationship with me, and ur not annoying, I really don't mind you coming my way. I did choose to do this after doing 3 years in business. Maybe I'm crazy, wait... I think that's a given. 

Ofcourse the play, every year I tried to help out... It's a lot of I time commitment. But it's the always the hours after school that makes the difference. It's those times when you build relationships

There are my canoe mates. Or rather... The people I chauffeur.... If you ever canoed with 13 yr olds you'll understand. Because the only people rowing is you. Hahaha

My bus buddy to Hersey park. 

My half asian counter part took this foto while I wasn't paying attention. The she took like all these ridiculous looking foto of herself on my tablet 

These six graders takes me tablet every morning and take a bunch of selfies... 

Maddy and Sadie, eighth graders. They are pretty cool. 

Sadie is pretty awesome, move around a lot, reminded me of my self when I was younger. Always the new kid everywhere I go. Never really had any stable friends. But I think she is doing alright, the girls are very nice to her. 

I let the kids draw on my helmet for the trip I'm doing on Friday. It came out awesome. I hope I can have time to write another blog for the week I'm gone. I got to see how awesomely artistic some of my students are. 

Each year, It's always a melancholy feeling as the school year ends. It's no secret I'm trying to find a high school closer to my house. But I really want to see my students again next year. Okay... Some of them more than others. While I wonder if they will miss me, I am always more curious if I will miss them, or rather who I will miss. 

Just Do It

I can't remember when my education started. It wasn't in chemistry class nor was it in English class, or when my 10th grade teacher straight up told me I am horrible at writing. For some people, the system works in thier favor. They were popular in middle school, they hung out with the cool kids at lunch in high school, they had the Nike and the Uggs. They followed the rules and the world were kind to them. Whether they benefitted from gender inequality or affirmative action, thier life was conforming to the society expectations. The more they conform, the more they are awarded. 

You always know who benefitted in such fashion as they mature into adults. They follow the rules to the letter, they seek certify professionals for the smallest of jobs, they plan everything and apply to 50 schools for college, they are always looking for others approval for thier actions. They fear taking risk, and fear those who do. 

I do not fault them, it is thier world view, and if I was brought up in the same environment, I would have sang the same tune. But the system never worked for me. Affirmative action cheated me out of so many things, and I had claw my way to get the simplest of things. I still remember my hs graduation speech fiasco, I remember all the inequalities I had to battle. The lesser applicant that was picked because they were African American or Hispanic. The system talk about minority representation, but asian was never part of "minority", it was and remain still the biggest hypocricy that every educated person in the education field has bought into with hook lines and sinkers. 

So, no, the system didn't work for me. I always did things against the grain because fitting in just never did me any good. I ran my student groups, I started martial arts clubs, and I started my own car group. Because the system never benefited me, but I wasn't about to let that dictate or maginalize my life. To that end, I never like holding hands and going to the bathroom together. ::figure of speech:: I was always perfectly comfortable doing my own thing when others search for the solace of others approval.

When people ask me, "how did you learn how to do so many things?" Referring to renovation, cars, writing, and myriad of other obscure skill sets I don't often market. My response was always of perplex confusion. "I... Just did it?" Almost always they would follow up with the question "no one taught you?" And while I often wish to answer "why do you need someone to teach you?". I realize early on that that comment undermines people who couldn't learn things themselves. So instead I respond with with more progressive lies, "oh I learn this a while back from watching 'so and so'". While it's true, I did watch someone else do it, but so did every one of us for everything. I am always learning, every interaction every moment. Hence while I graduated out of acclaim schools like Jhu and many other certificate under my name, I never gave my formal education much weight in my growth and learning. 

My dad never likes re-doing old work. If he done it 10 years ago. He will never re do it. Even if it didn't turn out well before. In contrast, I love re-doing old work. It reminds me how stupid I was just a year ago or 5 years ago. How I tried to build this wall and failed miserably. How it was crooked and uneven, and how there is wood, concrete siding, and cinder block and myriad of nonsense I smash together. 

Pour a proper footing for the block wall this time. 4 inch deep and 15 inch wide pad for the block work.

This is me and Phaedon buring the sump pump pipe underground. Should of done this from the get go. 

Foundation setting with Phaedon 

Concrete pad before smoothing

Smooth out. The concrete

Some critter walked on it before it dried. rageeeeeee face 

Blocking the wall. The first few times was quite the embarrassing diaster. After the third go around, I figure everything out. 

Repetition always help, and every successive attempt got simpler and easier.

Wall is straight as an arrow. 

So I got tire of working in the dark, so I properly wired outdoor grade electrical conduits, I read it up online, went to Home Depot a few times and figure out what is there and build the whole box in a day. 

Outlet and switch for light complete. I later install two led light panels. You'll see in succeeding pictures.

Both walls are done and I even blocked the rear wall for a shelf cause I got so good at blocking the wall. 

The roofline was uneven, so instead of blocking to the top, I decided to use wood base construction for framing, and go with a stucco siding. Aka mortar bed siding.

Framed both window openings, I was able to use the old 2x4 I took off for most of it. I finish the frame after work.

Having this on the wall making me feel legit. 

Note* I did most of this after work. A little everyday by myself. 

Outside view. This was when I secured them with lag screws. 

I end up with 1/2 inch ply instead of 3/4 because my spacing between the studs were less than 14 inches apart. Typical spacing of 18 require 3/4 sheeting. Also the gap to the outside I calculated with 3/4 inch stucco is where the frame is sitting. Either way, I thought it was a good choice... Famous last words.

Board goes on and windows mock up.

Windows in. 

Frame the dor frame while I was at it. Phaedons cat died. He was so sad. So we work on stuff and he gave me a hand, and took his mind off of it. 

Plywood spacing on the door. 

Window trim on and all plywood trimmed and installed. Time to build the door. 

I enlisted phaedon and Jeff for help, as these doors are custom 7 ft by 3 ft custom carriage doors. I never build them before. So we just wing it. We do that often. 

Wally was helping out.... 

Framed up and mocked up

We used pretty thinly trimmed ply since we have 2x4 pt lumber for frame. We glued and nailed the door.

Mock up. Left corner was an issue with gap, and we found out the rail wasn't straight so we fixed it. 

Mock up #2. With hinge. We didn't trim the door yet, we wanted them to hang for a bit. And the storm was coming so I wanna see how it faired in the rain and then make adjustment before installing the trim. 

Super tedious process of installing waterproof paper to the plywood. 

Then I put pesh wired stapled to every inch that the stucco is gonna cover.

First coat of stucco... Total mess. I mess up so many times.

I got better towards the end.

Inside stucco panel. I'm getting better each time

I sponge over to get a rough texturizing smoothing look

Jeff helped me get the door dressing on. It warped a little, so I adjust it. 

Install the hardware and the lock and additional trimming. I put deadbolt on top and bottom on the panel close to the wall. 

Then I dry lock the entire in and out so it's gonna be bone dry.

Still have to build the cover for the sump pump, and load the compressor on top, but it's essentially done. Im going to get the girls in there on Monday. 

Door still needs to be painted. I caulked all the trims. 

If you want to do something, you just do it.  Read it, do it. Beause quite frankly someone just like you and me, made up all these crap from the getgo. It's not rocket science. Even rocket science is not rocket science. If someone else figure it out, so can I, and with some luck, I might even be able to do it better. 

I'll post pic via my Instagram when I get the bike in. 

Summer of 2014

In the past few weeks, I had to have more realistic expectation of my summer plans. While I wanted to go to Big Bend national park in Texas, it is 2000 miles away. Mean while I'm spending a week around the mountain side of the blueridge to Tennessee in July. My original plan set out from here to the dragon, along with my friends, and take off from there towards big bend. I would already be 500 miles in and would make my extended trip just another 5 days of easy riding. But I built the ducati for the dragon, and the plans to loop the dragon and back around, would bring be closer to home than west. Which means I would have to go out for nearly a 3000 mile week, and then swap on my BMW and head west for two more. It's not so much an ambitious undertaking, but rather overself indulging. 

This September I'm goin to California for my boys wedding which adds to another vacation. Money is not an issue, but my time seem to be more and more limited each year. As I said to a bunch of pe staff at my former school KMS, "I have to cut down on my hobbies." Of some of the top to do list 

1.) finish the basement apartment completely and fix the flooding issue. 

2.) take care of my dental and medical things that I have put off for a while

3.) build a online portfolio and website for my book. 

All these require not a day or two, but several days if not weeks. And on the bottom of this list is

4.) build another car and change out the e30 for something larger. 

If work ends this year at June 18, and I leave for a week and come back at June 25th, then work 3 days and leave for another 20 day vacation across the west. I'll be back late July, only to start work again in August. If I'm lucky, I may have a few days to spare. None of which can suffice the time to complete any of the above checklist. 

I've been putting off the ducati for a while, valve adjustment was a black art, or rather something I never done. Doing the forks was a black art, so is the rear springs. These are all things I have never done on this bike, and to put it aptly, I was finding the courage to tackle it. There was a few learning experiences, 1.) the rear spring is the same coil over spring as a car. In fact. The same part number for eibach that is use on JOM coil overs. 

Thanks to Jeff, now I feel evens dumber. I paid 110 to racetech, who buys the same exact spring from eibach. The spring can be had all day with the same part number for 65 dollars. 

To add insult to injury, thier fork springs are also someone else's spring. I don't know who, but I didn't really want to find out. The part number is not apparent due to it being an internal spring.

So after some persepherating I finally got the balls to just wing it. With some ingenuity from phaedon we bolted two lag screw on the 2x10 beam of my house and made two hanging hooks. Add on some ratchet ties, and removal of the exhaust I was able to get my bike indoor, and up off the rear wheel. 

The swap was pretty easy, and the preload set up winded was still not enough to unload the spring. I used some c clamp to unload one and install the new one. 

I was done in about 2 hours. At first, the initial spring rate seem comparable to the yellow stock spring. The stock spring has just only slightly look like it is progressive. The coils seem the same size. But after loading the preload 20% the stiffness was apparent. 

Next morning I got another snow day and worked up the confidence to do the front, which is even more foreign to me. 

I wouldn't say it was easy, but it was a lot easier than I thought. 

There were some logistical back and forth, but I both fitted with 2 mm extra of spacer in addition to the extra weight spring. The oil from the fork was golden, given only 4000 miles on the clock. I end up using BMW fork oil 7.5 wt. which really look like royal purple fork oil if you ask me. Same color, same consistency. 

I slap the bike together in 2 hours doing everything about as slow as possible with millions of double checks. 

Bike now sits a whole inch or so higher. 

Then... I was like, why not just do the whole thing with valve adjustment check. 

So I did. 

Of course I could not get the last bit out... And when I disconnected the feed, a gallon spilled out all over my hands. Fml. 

Then the black art was unveiled. Super confusing for about 3 hours. I learn one part look at it for a while, learn something else, then something else. After 3 hours and some, I finally figure out the gist. Then after another hour, I understood what I was doing. 

And just like that, the black art is now just something I can do in two hours. 

Life is about problem solving. It always is about figuring out the puzzle. Nothing is impossible or too hard. Information needs to be digested overtime, and understood. As each piece fit together it became easier and easier. 

Then you have the revelation moment of "why didn't i do it sooner". 

As it stand it would seem I need to plan a few weekend trips rather than a 20 day cross country this year. Next year, I'll be in Europe with the guys, maybe he year after I can trek across the west once again with Phaedon and Jeff. Now that is something I'm looking forward to. 

Seasonal Affective Disorder - or the time of the year I become a little biaaatch

It was two days ago when my SAD came in at a full swing. Seasonal affective disorder, or more common tongue, simply wintertime blues. When I wrote about it years ago in my book, it was one of the most challenging time of my life. As I approach this winter, this emptiness that I feel is not foreign to me, but rather nostalgic. It's been over a decade that I had spend my winter days alone, the familiar scrimmage, rushing from store to store for the perfect present, are now just memories. 

I can't say I truly miss those moments, but I can't say I don't either. It is in part a melancholy feeling that is couple with a sense of relief. I have never enjoy the cold. Growing up in the tropics I could weather 100% humidity with asphalt melting heat with ease. But this cold brisk breeze brought more than just physical discomfort, but emotional as well. 

These feelings are always easily observed when we see it in others, but seldom easy to see when it is upon ourselves. It is just like middle school, everyone remember what you did and why you did it, except yourself. There is a perk, as Susan pointed out what I already know, "it's good writing material." 

It took me a few days, to finally find some voice. I never realize how much writing is an outlet for me, until I wrote my book. It keeps me grounded emotionally. Understand what I am feeling, but more so it is a safe place for me, a place where the social politics - aka bs - can not interrupt me. 

I am a country boy at heart. I love the technology, but I would never trade a days luxury in a spa for the wonders of the open road. Yet, I lived the city life since I was 7. It was San Paolo then California, then Maryland. I have always lived in a populated area, where people are abundant and relationships are easily changed as often as one would change thier underwear. 

There were times I was taken back, back to a special place. The summer trip when I dated EB and I went up and spent a week at her parents lake house, was perhaps the most memorable of all the events in all my relationships. A place I always wanted to go back to. Sitting in the middle of a secluded lake on the kayak alone, when all things fall silent to my own heart beat. A place where all superficiality is stripped, expectation of social politics fall the way side. It was a place the important things become important again. 

I felt very much the same when I took the trip this summer across the country. So it is no surprise when my wintertime sadness hit, my mind drifted far away, 2000 miles away to be exact. 

Atop mountains and in deep gorges. It wasn't just a vacation, it was a calling, a feeling that was always there, and no matter how long it stays dormant, the second it is revealed to me, it feels like home. 

Anyone who knew me, knows I have been plaque with IBS my entire life. IBS is also very closely link to emotion and stress. The last 5 years had been hellish in terms of my flare up and my health. Sometimes the flare up would last up to 2 weeks, generally it would be 1 week. I took probiotics religiously, I worked out religiously, I watched what i ate, I drink ginger ale when i needed them. Not a day do I not wake up worrying weather my stomach was going to act up today or not. I have learn to cope with my problem over the years to have the least of impact on me. No matter the rigor I always felt some what sickly. I could never gain any weight, or lose any for that matter. 

It's been 5 month since the trip, I have had a few flare up that lasted less than a day, but nothing that even bothers me. I felt in better shape than I have ever felt in the last decade. I gained 10 lbs of lean mass from the workout. Just like that I was cured. No pills, no special diet or food, nothing. She text me one day trying to make small talk "how's your health" I didn't respond. Not because I was spiteful, but I didn't want to come off like "everything is so much better now that you are gone." It's not like that, it was never about her. It has and will always be our own depression. My own revelation from years ago, "the greatest war of humanity has been and always will be a spiritual one".

I ridden the new bike quite a bit. To be honest, I love the simplicity over the r1100s. It's what I always envision motor bike would be, raw and simple. But then there is, heated grip, and 2 up comfort. So alas there is a place for both ladies in my life. 

I said zfg a lot lately. But I think I just no longer care to stress myself out about other peoples emotional instability. People and I mean in general as always, are often bothered by the fact when you are not bothered by the same thing. They will try to get under your skin, try to get at you so you are on the same page they are, so you are rattle and they feel in control. It is always the ones who think they are educated, and professional who will do such, because it's logical for them and therefore it's logical for you. Because it's about conformity and it's about control. It's self obsessed narcissism. A lifestyle preached by beauracrats SO (self before others). To that I ask, "is this what we want to teach our kids?" 

Deep in the Rocky between the time passed and all the dead end road ahead, there lies infinite possibilities for as far as my eyes can see. Maybe it's time to move on, maybe I can, maybe I should. 

Outdoor Education 2013 RMS

Ok I have always attended outdoor ed, even when I was in high school. It was a much different time then. We went to a place 2.5 hours away. We were gone for an entire week. The food was pretty good. And we had much more autonomy. Cell phones were just becoming introduced, and I did not have one yet, there was no such thing as gps. Let's not forget we still had film instead of digital. In many ways, we had a true outdoor experience. We had total trust by the teachers. We had our own cabins, and we were responsible for 20 of our own kids. As the night came, we had many down times. We socialized in the common room and talk till he stars were the only thing that lit up the sky. 

There were numerous experiences the kids learn in ode when we are there for a week and far far away. Like how not to stay up, because by the third day you'll be hurting. How kids become ill and have to depend on thier teacher, as loco parente. Where they can't run home every second, and the wisdom of growing up when they need to. Even if one child act out and pay the price, the rest 200 kids learn from thier mistake. It is a something I always felt amiss when we are there for such a short time. The kids act out and then thier parent pick them up, or they go days of staying up late, and when it's time to learn the important lesson of pacing themselves, they get to go home. 

Every year, when I volunteer for ode I always get the most interesting reaction from people. Really? Your going again? You are braver than me. Or I'm not spending night. I often question many of the decision I make that seem more out of habit rather than choice. 

Why? The obvious reason is, "I do it for the kids". Or do I? I love working with the counselors as well, maybe I go as my only opportunity to work with older students. Or maybe I just like the outdoor. But then there is the part of me being a masochist, maybe the mundane of plush life just isn't my cup of tea. 

I took pictures of the first group leaving. I only showed up in the afternoon. I figures since this year, since I am not running the program, I would take pictures instead. I took a ton of pictures. 

First day I did stream study's at 3pm. It seem as if these kid never been outside in thier entire life. I wouldn't be surprise if that was true. I remember catching crayfish and running in the woods, falling in the water as an afternoon social event during my growing year. There was no technology then, and we were so much more in touch with our surrounding. 

So he try to go under, and totally face planted in the water, they had a great time. Hahaha

The days catch

Action shot. No idea who this is. Hahaha 

I didn't entertain these counselor as much as I would like. I did the most I could

Second session I stayed the whole time. 

I ran the predator prey simulation. I ran everytime. I was beat by the 2nd lesson, but I kept running. I didn't want the later group to have any less fun. They relish to proof thier agility against my old age and deceit. 

It was awesome his year, cause the grass wasn't trimmed, I was able to go incognito in the grass. 

The counselor chatted with me after the kiddos went to bed. 

I didn't think Davis was coming, but when is saw him, it was a pleasant surprise. Jaleel taught me what a shape up is. Liya is awesome as usual. Jasmin showed me she can talk on the phone for 4 hours with her boyfriend. Velycia the self proclaim queen, was very funny, really enjoy her sense of humor. David is a techie and very chill. Keren said I look high maintenance.... You know who else said that last year ... When I ask her, she said, because I'm asian and she assume. 😒. That one stereo type I'm new to. 

So as I sit here in my usual stabux, I wonder. Why do I enjoy it so much. I guess it's because, out there, even though we now have many technology to distract us, it is still a place, where everyone the kiddos and all the young adults shed thier social pressures and just enjoy each other's company. Everyone comes to thier own at different times. Sometimes right away, some second night, and some the moment before we leave. These are people that may never be friends in school, never hung out in the same crowd. But out here, we have geek, the queen bee, the shy recluse, the tech junkie, the in between, and everyone else in between. Foregoing the social pressure, social expectations, age, gender, race. I see them at thier purest form, their capacity for good. 

Maybe that's why I'm out here every year, to see everyone at thier best, even if it's just for the moment. It gives me hope, that maybe just one of them will overcome thier social expectations and become more than they ever thought they could be.

1500 years ago, we were so sure the earth is the center of the universe, 150 years ago we all believe slavery was necessary, 15 years ago most believe personal computer is impossible, years ago we all thought we were going to grow up together. 1.5 years ago I went to my college roommate and one of my best friends funeral that is in the picture above. 

 As I joke around with the counselors, zfg, zfg, what I really want to tell them is, life is not a trend or social status. It's what you want to do, and when you are strong enough to do what is required even if it's against the grain, or trumps social expectations from your peers, you know you have the emotional maturity to take on all the bullock in this world. And let me tell you, it's all bullock.  

Cross Country 2013 - the rise of the Ducati

I send sent my bike to Anton Largiader in VA about 2.5 hours away. Anton seem very reputable on the forum, and use to be a roommate of one of my riding buddy. The bike arrived 3 weeks after it broke down. I'm not gonna lie, the first few days was pretty hard, just like any longer trip I have done so far. It just didn't feel right to not get on the bike in the morning. 

In the month that follows, Anton seem to have disappeared. Emails takes weeks to comeback, phone calls that always go to voicemail. I would later find out that he let my bike sit for a month before getting to it.  

This is about the month and a half in between. The month where I am forced to rediscover myself. What to do with the time that I have? Where would I go? 

I found more and more of myself as the days went by. Training and getting fit again, reminded me of all the things that made me feel alive more than the bike ever did. I felt I could take on the world again. 

And I got my new speedbag, after I exploded the previous one.... 

As I tell Phaedon, this bag is dying everyday, see... I walk over and bam it exploded in the 3rd hit. 

And I hung out with the boys more, since they aren't as big on bikes... We did a lot of climbing

I haven't gotten stressed for a long while now. I obsessed over nothing, and I don't really worry about a lot of things. 

As time goes on, I wonder how long I have been overly obsessed about so many things. The variables that I once believe to have causality are more correlation than cause and effect. It is human nature to correlate our behavior to a given positive result and regret those choices we make that does not merit the result we desired. 

Things can happen with or without our intervention, and for many that is a very difficult thing to accept. We been taught by so many indicators that we are unique and special. While in the grand theme that is true, the other spectrum is just as valid, that we are insignificant in the grand theme. The comfort for me lies in the medium, that I am unique, but really not unique. I am important, but not really that important.

A few weeks went by, I wonder what does motorcycling did for me. I have grew more the month that follow than the 20 days on the road. But the 20 days was crucial in balancing my emotion. The change however, came after. 

I grew restless waiting for Anton and bought a Ducati. Got a color I wasn't really sure about, but with Phaedon's encouragement, he said, go for it and own the color. So I embraced the difference and love every minute of it.

So in the past month I rode more bikes than I have rode in the last 3 years. 

I was always wary about riding other peoples bike. What if I drop it? What if it's unsafe? What if it breaks when I'm on it? And a myriad of other million questions. But the question I should be asking is, "am I going to let my 'fear logic' control my life?" Because that is ultimately the problem, is the logic. Logic is seldom logical.

Just as I started riding. I started to be able to go to places and not worry. I rode faster and less like 30 going on 85, but more like 30 going on 25. I didn't care about the scratches on the fender, or the blemish in the paint. I don't tread fearfully of others emotional frailty. I don't perseverate much anymore, I can get emotional from time to time, but it doesn't bother me. Things are not that serious. 

Do I need a bike? I asked myself that question, is it my identity? No. I didn't need it. Was it a symbol of freedom? Sure. But for me it's not what it seems. The idea of the bike, the idea of riding, became much simpler than the grandiose connection I had once believed.

The obvious was that it's fun, it's a rush, it's freedom, it's the vulnerability, it's about being alive, about letting go, about feeling young, it's about taking risk, and leathers. I do love the leathers. 

At the end of the day, it is a catalyst that freed me from my own barriers in my mind. It allowed me to be free from myself, and the barriers that I have created over the years. It gave me back my youth, and more importantly it gave me back what I have lost for so many years and finally found again, my sanity. 

Old girl came home. Anton did a fantastic job and the price was reasonable but I would never send anything to him to fix that I would need back. lol.

2013 Cross Country (Day 16 + 17) - 3630 miles - Sunday and Monday

The morning after at the airport I was super sleepy. I had a drink with Yermo while we shot some pool with the locals

KGM motorcycle transport is whom I'm using to ship the bike. I was told to call on Monday and arrange shipping.

2013 Cross Country (Day 15) - 0 mile - Saturday 7/27

Many of us planned if not expected a certain ending when we set out to do something, for me, I started planning on how this trip will end before I left. Even though I wanted to return triumphant from a long trip across the country, riding my steel horse that I have entrusted since the day I bought it, somehow I knew my bike won't make it on its own power. It wasn't mechanical knowledge or some scientific deduction of how I came to this conclusion. I always seem to have a certain six sense to things. It was going to happen, but it didn't matter. 

For reasons that may forever remain obscure to me, I went against 10 years of fear and comfort and left to tour the usa on my motorcycle. Last minute on the whim. Why? Because I want to and the only thing stopping me was my own logic.

Why is this the perfect ending? "Yun your bike broke down across the country, that blows" I know. Its perfect this way, because if it never broke down, I would have never know how much I have changed when facing with adversity. I am not nonchalant, in fact, I know it's gonna be costly, but it's okay. It's just not a big deal. 

I could of struggle through this alone, but I am forever grateful Yermo is here with me. I could of survived just fine on my own, but this trip wouldn't have been what it was without Yermo.

We talked about what is logical to do this morning. There was the parts availability concern, too much time frame, maybe I can rent a bike and ride back. As I look at it at the end, I know I can ride back, I know I can suck it up and ride 700 to 800 miles a days if I need to.  Especially if its hot, I tend to absorb the yellow suns energy.😛  My bike broke, it's time to go home. I am ready to go home. I am remarkably happy for someone who's favorite toy just self destructed, as we joke on the trip every time we do something inherently unsafe, "it was totally worth it". 

When i left, I had a list of things I was going to work on. Letting go my fear of abandonment with my bears, needing someone there, wanting someone to order food and make those decision for me that i can easily make, getting hair cut, not wanting to leave my comfort area, fear of getting sick, the list goes on and on. I wonder when I will over come these things, and whether on the trip I will flare up, get too sick, or become so home sick that I breakdown. I wondered if the road will take me back to a time where losing them was my only fear. 

What I did not know at the time, but I do know now as I write this final entry of the trip, is that I have move on and left all those things behind long before I left 15 days ago. 

Each time we are with someone, we change. Sometimes for better, but more often than not it brings out the worst of us. In the last 4 years, I have try to accommodate her emotional needs and in turn I have obsessed over thing that I never had in the past. I have recompense for her imagined slights and allow the physical and verbal abuse to question my own self worth. In the month that followed, I did not felt any urge to see how she is doing like I had with others in the past. She really treated me poorly. 

But I digress, i love her and I miss them. I loved her the best i can, i saw her insecurities and love her for them. But she lost herself in her fears, and push her insecurities onto me. What she always fail to see is that I have always seen her differently than she sees herself. What she thought was her weakness, I always saw it as her strength. I have always saw the best in her when she saw the worst in herself. 

In the last 10 years, i have dated significant others and had close friends who have had been afflicted with extreme difficulties in their life. Over the years, with my injury and sickness, I too have defined myself by my fears and pain. I have always understood those who suffer at the hands of misfortunate, and for the longest time I have thought I was one of them.  Then I remember the boy who took the metro by himself to dc everyday at 13. I remember the kid that told his parents at 12 years old that they no longer have to worry about me anymore, and brought home straight A, ever since. I was always able to reinvent myself. While i love them all dearly and will always cherish them I was never one of them. 

I remember when she was leaving what must've almost 3 month ago or more, (it still feels like yesterday), I said to her in total emotional mess, "I'm damage goods". She responded swiftly and angrily with conviction "No, you are NOT!", perhaps she have always knew me better than I know myself. 

Expect her in 10 days. And then I'll fix her up. :) 

2013 Cross Country (Day 14) - 200 ish miles - Friday 07/26

The started with us going to Lewiston Idaho. We saw this Harley dude outside 

We took a pitstops at coulee dam. Ran on fumes on this tank

Then it happened. My bikes spline shaft self destructed. It's consistent with forum discussions. No real warning, and bam. Side of the road. Yermo tow me 21 miles with buddy tow.  

We arrive at best western. No rooms available. Meghan our receptionist, call multiple hotels in the area for us, and got us a single room at econolodge. She even drove me and my luggage there. So awesome. 

She told me she would pick me up next morning back to best western, since the dealership is across the road. We booked Sunday night already, since we do not expect to go anywhere.

Sure enough she picked me up in her red pick up on her way to work at 8 ish. Maybe I need to move out to the country and get away from the city slickers. 

Now I'm waiting for the shop to open across the road to make some determinations. 

Option 1 - ship the bike back (750), fly back (350)

              *wont be here to ship the bike if it takes a while

              *storage fees and possible extended shipping issues I can't take care of

Option 2 - west side can fix my bike. Ride home

              *might take too long, can't get to it for a while

              *they aren't BMW specific, may not be good with older tech and the fix can break before I get home. 

              *pay an extreme premium

We will see what happens. The money part sucks, but I'm quite indifferent about this, I guess that's progress. Hahaha 

2013 Cross Country (Day 13) - 214 miles - Thursday 07/25

We decided to have a slow day. But we ended up leaving around the same time. 

There was quite a few pitstops required. Yermo needed some kind of pharmacy, I needed to get my saline solution for my contacts from target. We needed to do the oil change on the bike, needed to visit the first Starbucks. Etc etc. 

I would tell you city life isn't for me, but the truth is, when I rode through the city, it didn't bother me as I thought it would. 

I lose 10 lb on my face in the morning. So odd. Looking out from our magically lucky hotel that Yermo got.

Me at the 1st Starbucks ever!!!! Line was out the door around the corner. 

Yermo watching the bike. It was a no parking loading zone, but everyone parked there. Yermo suggested we shouldn't do that, he is probably right, so we didn't stay and went to another Starbucks. 

Drove to target north of town after an extended coffee break

I was concern of our oil changes would have to happen under the sun. In some busy park lot in the city, would get gawked on or even ticketed. When we got to the Autozone, there was no shade. But after we walked in or walked out there was. How lucky :). The attendant at Autozone was super nice, and wanted to give us a use oil pan to help us, but they couldn't find a use one, so we bought two oil pans for 3 bucks a pop. They can recycle the oil ! All done. It was a lot more pleasant than I thought. It was definitely more pleasant with actual tools that Yermo had, like actual ratchet and wrench. 

We went to get lunch and finally got under way for the day

Chevron station before our first day heading east. Brown bear car wash, is all over the place.

Took a while to get to route 20 from i5. Route 20 took a while to break away the traffic. Yermo suggested we take a break, it was a good idea too, because we would find out its the last stop before the mountain pass. 

Stop at an overlook. Turquoise Lake Diablo, highlight of the day.

Ending the cascade mountains, the last overlook as we head out. We ended at this really neat town call Winthrop in WA. We stayed at the lodging. 

Some RV park vacation skateboard riff rafts about 14 yrs old try to steal our GPS from our bikes when we were having dinner. 

The locking mount worked as advertised. What a bunch of losers. Local peeps were super nice. 

It wasn't until yesterday in the cascades I finally started to under stand what it meant to look through the cornering the turn. Well I always knew, and always "did it" but I got it yesterday. It took me well over 20k to get it. Shocking to know I ridden all this time just going through the motion. 

2013 Cross Country (Day 12) - 284 miles - Wednesday 07/24

Our goal today was to make it to Seattle. It wasn't a difficult goal. We knew it will be a lot of traffic near the city. I got fully loaded up with the gear. Windproof liner, fleece, my thermos top and bottom, using the BMW silk liner glove was awesome combination with the Atlantis glove. It was a seriously chilly morning, but I had no issues. Hard to imagine, I didn't get the fleece what it would be like, or even the sedici Duncan had. I would have survive without either, it would have just turn something awesome to a whole lots of suck. But alas it was good :) 

Neat rock formations, so we stop, still on 101. All the bridge photos are via go pro, so it'll have to be uploaded later. 

As we gone across the bridge, while at speed at 50 some miles an hour, I got shitted on by a seagull

"Dats the shit" Yermo said as I showed him. Hahahaha 

As we putted along, we saw this sign for cape disappointment. It was a must see with a name like cape disappointment. We came and took a look. 

As we rode out there was a nice littler stretch that reminded us of the dragon. Not disappointed at all.

Took forever for us to find something to eat, it was pretty rural. No Verizon service for the last 100 miles. I asked our hostess what cell service she uses, apparently they use US cellular. 

A fews ways out on route 6 heading towards i5. We had to strip down our gears as the temperature rose 15 + degrees very quickly. It wasn't until we got to the gas station by i5 that I finally got service. I text Sid telling him I'm going to be late. He said ill hit traffic, and it'll more be like 6:30 before I arrive.

Finally got into Seattle. Around 6. Traffic was bad, but not terrible. We turn off at our first stop. I called Sid, and got the address, apparently I turn off too early, I should of kept on the interstate. 

It wasn't until 7 when I got to Sids place. Nick soon show up after. Then we met Tom at la isla for some Puerto Rican food. It was awesome. 

The guys were very generous and treated me for dinner. I look like I gain 10 lbs at the end of the day off the bike. Hahaha. Everyone aged well and looked to be in excellent health. Knowing we went to middle school together, grew up competing in tennis, hung out etc etc, and that we all are doing well made me really happy. It's not something everyone will be able to say after 10 years.

Since our eta was originally 4 pm and we didn't get into the city until 6:15, Yermo went looking for lodging on the upper part of the city, while I looked for Sids place. Everything was booked in the city. It was booked even when Yermo went to this comfort in, but just when he was about to walk out someone canceled. The room was available to him. It was good luck. Stupendous luck, much like most of the weather this trip. We road through crazy thunderstorm cells, only to pretty much miss it completely, like the sky parted the way for us. Maybe it was Yermo's luck all along and not mine. Either way I'm glad we had lodging. 

At dinner, we talked a lot about people in this modern society. The digital age, and how people outside the city are so much kinder, the pace of life is slower. Less superficial and more effort to building that friendship. It is the same talk me and Yermo had as we cross the country. 

I have not seen Nik and Sid for over a decade, I haven't seen Tom since he move to Seattle a few years back. We talked like it was yesterday, with no reservations, and no guard about our social status, or material wealth. There was a much stronger bond, before the information age. We lived it growing up. We had to adapt and work with one another. We had to define ourselves base on our ability to adapt not by identifying and celebrating our sense of uniqueness for being alive. 

Sid took us out on his m3 across town. Apparently he has become a Motorsport enthusiast. Ironic, we would have so much in common after so many years. 

Thank you Nik, Sid, and Tom for your hospitality in Seattle. I had a great time. 

2013 Cross Country (Day 11) - miles - Tuesday 07/23

No definitely timeline. I contact Nik,Sid, and Tom yesterday. It seems like meeting them on Wednesday afternoon was the plan. So we did not have to be in Seattle today. It's only couple hundred miles total, so we took it easy to 101, continuing on the awesome road 138, which turn into 38 which we saw this...

Elk observation. There were lots of bucks. Quite a nice detour. 

My first look at the Pacific Ocean, marking my first motorcycle cross country. 

Fog amass in the distance. We came to another pull off 

Yermo and this puppy. He/she was beyond adorable, fighting the wind. It was super windy and pretty cold. From the inland to coast line we drop nearly 30 degrees. We wore our fleece under. Heavy fog and quite the gust. The ride was go pro but ill have to process the video later for video snaps. It was pretty interesting on the coast riding by the sea, different kind of awesome.

We found a Starbucks finally after oh... 4 days? And we gassed up. Ominous cloud moving across the mountain. I try to vine it, but it's hard to capture. 

We ended at tillamook. Got really cold as the sun went down. We decided to get all liner up tmr, and go. I got all the necessary gears thanks to Yermo's experience. Heated vest, thermos, fleece, etc etc. it will be in the low 50s and on the bike it'll be nearly 40 degrees with windchill. 

I talk to Sid on the phone. Told him where I was, and when I will arrive. I'll call him when I'm in the city today. Expected eta to Seattle is around 3 or 4. I haven't seen them in 10 years or more. 

Waking up in a hotel room, eating continental breakfast is my new normal. I really need a haircut... Looking like some crazy person when I take off my helmet. 

Reaching the other side is some what melancholy, knowing that I will soon have to turn around and go home. I do miss my friends, family, and even work. I wish I could bring them to see what I saw and will continue to experience. But this was tough. It isn't for everyone. Riding all day, scaling a cliff, fighting your fears, heavy cross wind, desert heat. It isn't for everyone. 

Two years ago, when I started riding, you tell me I could tred across the country, I would tell you there is no way. One year ago, when I took my longest ride to the gap I would still tell you no way. Yet here I am with all the right training and all the proper gear, thanks to Yermo Lamers, I am able to enjoy this ride across the country.